What comes to mind
by Kurapika Kuroro
Summary: Random stuff but mostly Kuro X Kura centered
1. Agony

Title: Agony

Author's Note:

Since I was being lazy in updating Nothingness and Odd Enemy, I decided to write a one-shot for my readers. I was debating with my muses if I will continue the fics I started, but my *coughs* conscience insisted that I should continue. Agony is a drabble, but I hope it'll quench your thirst for Kurapika and Kuroro from Nothingness.

Enjoy.

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I, Kuroro Lucifer, the leader of the infamous group Genei-Ryodan believed that I had no conscience and never will have any heart to feel.

I had devised flawless schemes to accomplish our crimes, killed mercilessly, and stolen treasures. These actions never gave me any feeling of guilt and remorse. I had no conscience and I had no emotions that were I confirmed to myself.

I am rational rather than emotional, that was why I was able to lead the Ryodan.

When I was a child, I was intrigued by the feelings that adults had, the books that described that people should feel in certain situations, and other children tells when they are hurt. I was curious, why do they feel these things? I asked myself, why am I not feeling anything?

I cared for my friends, which were an idea I tried to ingrain within me. I admired things that took my interest, which I believe another theory that I tried to hold up until now. And yes, I want to find something, something that would satisfy me, something that would make me _feel_. It is something I have no idea of what it is, its quality, and its description. I was looking for something that I don't know.

As time goes by I managed to feel, but not that much. I was able to feel sadness, and that was when Ubogin died. I can feel loss, and that was when I was not able to steal the Zoldick's nen ability. These things that I feel were detached as if those where just ideas that I commanded myself to feel but then I can only feel a little.

However, an event that made me feel, emotions that suddenly flow within myself that I was unable to handle it. It was feeling of admiration and attachment. Moreover, a feeling that I might call longing rammed my persona and I wasn't prepared for it. Longing made me crave for the person that made me feel. The blonde that made me feel attached that I cling into her image and tried to experience her.

Kurapika Kuruta, the last living of the Kuruta tribe, at first I did not mind taunting her. Teasing the blonde by seducing or taking advantage of her, but the more I expose myself to her, the more I want for more. By the first time that I had made contact to her,-and that was when she captured me using her chains- then I was able to feel. For the first time I was shocked, shocked because someone was able to capture me!

She made me anticipate for my own death. I was curious about the idea of dying, the experience of vanishing in this world.

Most of all, Kurapika made me want, want her to the extent that I ached for her every now and then. This was my fault, I reckon, for if I restrained myself from every contact I made with the Kuruta maybe I wasn't addicted to the feeling in the first place.

This addiction made me insane, to the point that I could not stop myself from touching her. I was drowned by the pleasure that it gave me. The sensation and assurance that I was in the warmth of the one that continuously make me feel the remedy of my numbness.

I used her, used her every moment that my want drove me. And I didn't notice that I was inflicting that I was gradually killing her.

I saw it in her eyes, when I was making love with her that she looked at me with agony. The doubt that glazed her eyes made me stop. Her face was full of regret, and that bothered me. I could not bear seeing her like this, that I became a coward and sat with turning back at her.

It pains me that what I was doing did not give her any pleasure. It hurts me that I could not make her feel the ecstasy that I experience when we were making love.

And for the first time in my life, I was able to feel guilty. I was able to acknowledge that there in the depth of my soul was conscience enough to tear my heart apart.

My heart was broken, and she was bitter. I was the one who caused her agony. I took away everything from her. The thoughts rushed into my head, bludgeoning her clan to death, taking their eyes just because of Kuroro's whim, murdering her comrades in York shin, harming her friends…

My heart swelled when the thought that the one who took away the only thing that she could give for the man she loved…was the same person that took everything in her life. Suddenly I want to kill myself! Anger conquered me! What have I done? This precious girl did not do anything terrible to deserve all these!

Why me? Of all the people, why would I be the cause of her misery?

I looked at her with my tears staining my cheeks. The beautiful angel had drifted on to sleep, she seemed tired. Exhausted of all the things that I had done to her, I know she was hurt-physically and emotionally.

I crawled and was careful not to wake her. I lay beside her and decided that a kiss would take her pain away. I kissed her forehead and embraced her it surprised me that she nuzzled into my chest.

I was still crying, and I want to kill myself for doing it, but the tears charged my eyelids like there was no tomorrow.

I felt agony, and I could not accept the fact that the one that made me feel, made me fall…

It took me sometime before I could accept it but there was no reason fro denying. I sighed, and whispered in her ear

"I love you and I'm sorry"

I closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------

Me: That was, sad.

Kuroro: Yeah it was, I can't believe that you made me cry there

Kurapika: …


	2. The touch

"What you don't know can kill you"

The Touch

Notes:

The Touch is a collection of cases of Deprivers. Deprivers are person who had the depriver syndrome, it does not harm the carrier of the syndrome but it does affect the person who touches them. The victims would either be deprived of their senses or can even paralyze them.

This fic is inspired of the said novel but there had been no scenes that were copied or altered just to produce this fic.

Characters: Kuroro and the Ryodan

Genre: Alternate Universe

Title: /// Can't think of it right now

* * *

The heat of the sun penetrated his clothes. His gloves amplified the heat inside him as he walked to and fro the college admissions building. The raven haired man queued at the cashier's window and sighed in relief, it's the last phase of his college admissions. He patiently waited until it was his turn. The cashier smiled winsomely at him, sure his hair was oily by now but it did not lessen his handsomeness. He handed the bill to the woman and smiled in return.

"You're a transferee?" The woman behind the window

"Yes ma'am" he politely said

"You're…" the woman read the his registration form and continued

"A Political Science student?" she asked a question having the obvious answer

Kuroro nodded immediately and held the receipt that was handed to him. The woman stared at his hand because she thinks it's awkward for a person to wear gloves with this climate. Kuroro looked at the woman and then decided to walk away because the woman would just stare at him. The moment he turned his back at the woman he heard her say with genuine care that he should be careful. He looked again at the woman and smiled.

"That's why I'm wearing my gloves ma'am" he answered

The woman nodded and proceeded in processing other student's papers.

He walked in the midst of the sweltering heat and decided to go home.

* * *

The door was locked. Nobody might be home today, he thought as he took the key under a flower pot. He was about to insert the key when the door opened and a grinning face of his comrade welcomed him.

"You're the last one to arrive boss" His brow less friend said

"Yes, there had been problems in accrediting my subjects but it had been fixed" he explained as he entered the house.

He sat at the couch and started to remove his shoes as he continued

"You all seemed to have it easy" he asked at his comrades who seated in their respective places in the house.

"Don't have any problem in slipping in long queues" A sandy brown haired teen said who sat on the floor with a laptop on his right and a net book on his left side, he seems busy in downloading the latest software.

"We just played helpless…" One of the girls who sat in the couch opposite Kuroro's said.

"Just look at them with the _killer eye_" One who sat on the stairs added

"Yeah you're right!" A large man with hairy chest said

"Classes will start next week" Kuroro managed to end the thread of thoughts of his comrades

He stood and proceeded to walk upstairs as a blonde woman tugged his coat.

"You think we could see him there?" she asked

"If Shalnark's information about him is correct, we would spot him here Paku"

The girl said no more and freed him.

He went upstairs and entered his room. He sat on the edge of his bed and removed his outer garments including his gloves. Kuroro settled on taking a shower before he would continue on researching their target.

The soothing water would be nice to relax his body and devise some plans for persuading their target in joining them.

* * *

Nobunaga touched Uvogin's right shoulder.

"Hey!" the man grumped

"Just thinking what would happen to you the moment I touch you" he said impishly

"Oh darn! They're playing this game again!" Machi said ominously

Shalnark with his gadgets in both arms stood and walked upstairs mumbling _I don't want to have my arms numb again_ to Feitan who sat on the stairs.

"Damn you Nobunaga!!!" Uvogin tried to move his right shoulder

"You made my shoulder numb!" he tried to grab the other man's arm

"Oh shit!" he tried to dodge the man's hand but wasn't successful. Uvogin's index finger glided on his elbow.

"Erm, now I'll only see everything in black and white!" he looked at his palms and then at the television

"Don't worry it's not permanent!" Pakunoda stated

"Hey Paku, why don't you deprive them of memory" Feitan chuckled

"I won't say that if I were you…" Machi looked at Feitan coldly

"I wonder what that boy could do…" Franklin stated as he looked at their target's profile

"They said that Deprivers can't deprive him" Phinx peered at the boy's profile

"He's a superhuman then!" Shizuku inquired

"I don't know" Machi answered her

"That's why were here, to prove if that is true" Pakunoda explained at them

"I guess we have to find him fast" Shizuku ended

"Well yeah" Nobunaga nodded.

Pakunoda stood and tried to go upstairs, she did not like this kind of talk with her friends for it would lead in depriving games, and she does not want to have her senses deprived.

When she was in her room all she could hear were swears, complains, and the phrase _you deprived me!_

* * *

Kuroro read the profile of their target. Kurapika Kuruta, the only human that cannot be deprived by deprivers. It was intriguing to hear such news, at first, he doubted if it was true but the biography and case studies confirmed it.

First, Kurapika's parents were deprivers. They were very careful of not having a skin to skin contact with their son but there had been an incident when Kurapika accidentally touched her mother's face. His mother was devastated that she had deprived her three year old son of his ability to see. She thought Kurapika had been blinded but it was proved otherwise when the boy walked and tugged his father's coat. Kurapika could perfectly see everything, the boy wasn't deprived of anything!

The doctors had conducted experiments and many deprivers had tried to deprive him. None of them had successfully damaged him and Kurapika seemed to survive everything unscathed.

_Intriguing_, Kuroro thought. Kurapika might have an antidote for the depriver's syndrome, the man thought. The department of health had considered to have some blood samples of the boy and had found that it causes the depriver strain neutral, but only for a while. Kurapika was a volunteered himself for those researches hoping that sooner or later they would find a cure.

Kuroro was looking forward to meet this boy, Kurapika Kuruta. What would this boy offer to the depriver community? A cure? Hope? Answers?

"Kurapika" Kuroro stared at the boy's face fondly

"What will the world expects you to give?" he whispered and sat in his bed.

_The deprivers can't deprive him_

The praises echoed

_According to the findings, when his blood was mixed with the depriver's strain, it became neutral for ten minutes…_

The findings nagged him

_With his help, there's a possibility to find a cure_

It remained in his head.

He didn't know that he had been asleep. What he realized was he dreamt of a blonde boy, staring back at him offering his hand with the promise of a cure.

_And once again I'll have the chance to touch again, to feel again and to be free_

* * *

I was inspired by the book that I've read entitled "The Touch" by Steven Altman. In a way it made me appreciate that I was alive and that there's no disease that could deprive you upon having skin to skin contact. It was also a reflection of our society's misconceptions in some diseases like AIDS, cancer, and the like.

That's all..I guess..n_n

- crossposted in my livejournal account


	3. Chapter 3

As usual, this is a product of boredom and a sudden lust for bloody murder. :P

Enjoy.

The quietness of the room has engulfed me. Her stoical face is etched in my mind. The clashing of blades echoed in my ears. Blood's stench lingered in the air that I breathed.

I never thought that she's able to pull off a killing spree like that, given that she's a female, a vulnerable looking one. I am so baffled. How can she hide this kind of personality with the span of 2 years being with us?

I looked at her still apathetic face as we walk on the forest. The sun rays are dancing on her flawless façade and made her golden brown hair glowing. Her steps are soundless, I noticed, as our own moves create resonance on the grasses and branches that we hit.

Her best friend - our common friend was quiet, she could not believe that her 'little sister' can mutilate those people without batting an eyelash. The guys are mumbling as if muffling their horror to the previous scene.

No one has ever talked to her since that happened. We are scared enough to ask. Although I know we are not speaking to each other we understand mutually that we are all puzzled. We need answers to our questions but how do we start asking?

Looking at her eye to eye seemed impossible right now. How can we utter a single statement to her?

Kurapika stopped from walking.

"Show yourself." She uttered icily.

A man with a candid smiled appeared from the large tree on our right side.

"Hello Chain Assassin." He chirped.

"Did Kuroro send you?" Kurapika's voice was deadpanned.

"Yup, he said you'll need our help, for your escape." The man stated casually.

"Very well, please lead the way." She said as she gestured the man to guide us.

The man whistled cheerfully as he led us to a jet plane parked on the grassy horizon.

"Come on in!" He said as he got inside the pilot's seat.

_He__is__a__pilot,_ I noted as we followed Kurapika in the plane.

The silence is very awkward. I can't take it any longer I want to ask her now. But before I'm able to utter my query, she has delivered the answer ahead of our question.

"The Luchesse Family wants to capture me and you guys should have been the instruments to blackmail me. They want to have me because I am the eldest grand daughter of Hattori Takashi…I am Hattori Hanzo's descent." She said in a detached manner.

From that explanation, short and simple, there were no further questions asked why she killed them. Her face still has no trace of emotion when she looked at us. It is very chilling…to witness the once sunny face to be so…cold.

I could hear my gasp as well as the others'. I don't know why they were so shocked since the name really isn't that famous. Heck, I don't even know who this Hattori Hanzo is. True, Kurapika's father has a blood of a Japanese…it would only be likely so to have a Japanese descent isn't it?

I and Bashou looked at each other. What's with that?

Senritzu echoed the name that she heard from Kurapika.

'Hattori Hanzo!' Her look has been of an injured disbelief.

We looked at her in askance so that she'll explain more. Kurapika managed to give a miniscule smile –albeit a synthetic one - as she watched us in bewildered state.

'Hattori Hanzo?' Senritzu repeated again as if we would remember the man named Hattori Hanzo.

Both of us guys shook our heads in disorientation. Our memories suck.

Hattori Hanzo is a famous samurai and shinobi at his time. Senritzu's voice seemed furious.

'Why didn't you tell me?' She asked Kurapika.

"I don't want you to be scared of me." Her voice was cold. "Look what I have done back there."

Senritzu then was silent. She seems to contemplate the relevance of Kurapika to Hattori Hanzo. I think she was reminiscing the gruesome scene where Kurapika has single handedly murdered the 20 men of the Luchesse Family.

"I think we have to break our ties." Kurapika uttered stoically.

_To__break__our__ties_, I'd thought. My heart felt a pang upon hearing it. Of why I did, I have no idea. I want to disagree with her statement but I couldn't muster any strength to say anything. No one said anything either in revolt or agreement.

"Very well. I think you understand that this is for your safety." She concluded as she looked forward.

I want to say that I don't agree with such setting but I am too weak to say it. Do I have right to disagree, as a friend yes? But everyone had an unspoken agreement, would my sentiments matter?

My musings has been interrupted when the pilot told us that we are to land.

"Boss would be happy to see you Chain Assassin." The man chirped.

"I can't wait to see him." She answered sarcastically.

The man merely laughed. And maneuvered the plane smoothly that we never felt that we already landed.

We got off the plane not knowing where we were. The place looks grand and I'd wager that this property belongs to one - if not the most - affluent families on our region or even the world. From the spot where we landed is a very ample space of concrete painted in black. We walked even it is so tiresome to do so to get in to the 'lobby'. I can see the glass wall of the hall from afar for it was glaringly reflecting the sun.

Why are we walking? I asked myself. I think the owner of the place have vehicles so that they're guest would not walk painstakingly to enter the premise. I looked at our pilot who has the gull to whistle despite the heat and the walk. I also set my eyes on Kurapika, who by that moment has masked her emotions. She has no difficulty on this task of brisk walking on a frying pan, though her cheeks are flushing now, maybe because of the heat.

The pilot and Kurapika are used to this I'd assumed. What childhood do those two had? I pondered.

How did Kurapika maintain a very low profile despite this huge villainous background of hers?

I was preoccupied of assessing them that I didn't notice that we're already in front of the building.

No one greeted us, I was expecting a steward to welcome us but there's none.

The spacious 'lobby' has amazed us. It really looked so grand, and expensive.

"Chain Assassin I think you know our precautions." The pilot simpered to Kurapika.

"I know." She answered back in a 'you don't have to remind me' tone.

After hearing that, Kurapika was out of my vision as well as the pilot. I heard a loud thud from behind me and I saw Bashou and Scuwala on the floor unconscious. Senritzu too was unconscious although she was in the arms of the pilot. And that was the last thing I saw before I felt a thud on my nape that got me unconscious.

[Author's note]

Yes, I'm back. Just thought of something while in the office and decided to add this on 'What comes to mind' story.

Forgive me for not updating Nothingness and Odd Enemy. A programmer's life is such a demanding life. :P

I'm happy that I found a way to access fanfic site! Yay. So happy.

Oh, might I add that it's Leorio's POV. :P


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